Exploring the Intense Bond of a Mother-Daughter Fusional Relationship
I don’t talk much… I speak from within. The words we speak take us very far, one way or another…
One of my goals in writing is to produce constructive contents in order to help myself maintain a high level of energy, to nurture Joyfulness within , and to communicate this culture to my world. It’s been so easy for me up still now to get caught up in complaining or playing the victim. And my best excuses are always at hand…
Depressing stories don’t sell well. Even I shun them as if it was the plague. Spleen all day long is not of our time anyway.
I flee from pessimistic mindsets, from those who are driven only by the problematic or the dark side of everything. Or worse, those who hang around only when things aren’t going well for them.
My mother is the kind of person who only sticks to things when she’s identified all the excuses that will feed her whining for years to come. She thinks she’s God, and firmly believes that things will work themselves out if she complains about them loudly, and for as long as she can. She hardly ever goes to the right person who could help her solve any situation in an efficient and timely manner. She firmly believes that her entourage should be devoted or in charge of her happiness because there’s nothing she could do for that matter.
I promised myself I wouldn’t let any word about my mother slip out. And it reminds me of this series whose second season had just come out and which they were advertising. This woman is at her therapist’s and the first announcement she makes is about not willing to talk about her mother. But we could guess that, in the end, all the next sessions would be devoted in large part to dealing with her relationship with her mother, or even her situation as a mother.
What is it about the mother-daughter relationship that makes it so problematic?
The vast majority of mother-daughter relationships are considered to be fusional for either the mother or the daughter, or for both at the same time.
“A fusional relationship is a very close and intense relationship between two people that often involves a strong emotional dependence on each other. In a fusional relationship, both people have difficulty separating and functioning independently. They may have difficulty making decisions without consulting the other person and may experience high anxiety or emotional distress when one or the other is not available.
Mother-daughter relationships can be fusional for a variety of reasons, including the strong biological bond between them, social and cultural expectations of women in parenting, or a relationship in which the mother cares for her daughter in an excessive or intrusive way.
However, these fusional relationships can become problematic when both mother and daughter have difficulty establishing healthy boundaries and maintaining their own individuality. If the mother or daughter have difficulty separating emotionally from each other, it can cause great anxiety or emotional distress when either is absent or unavailable.
A close relationship can also become toxic if either mother or daughter tries to control or manipulate the other, or if either feels competitive with the other. This can cause tension, frustration and even anger between the two people.” Open AI
I have always had some awareness that my mother demanded of me strict compliance with the societal status quo, in the sense that I would never have any other choice but to put her first in everything. She made me understand very often that I’d owe her to be alive forever, and that I would never have the right to be anyone but her.
This is yet to be confirmed, but I have the feeling that when she got pregnant with me, she was pressured toward abortion. The fact that she made the decision to keep me and to raise me fiercely gives her, according to her, the right of life or death over me, or at least, the right to control or manipulate me as she pleases. And I’ d have no say in that matter.
After reading all this elucubration from my fertile imagination aided by Open AI, how does it make you feel about your own relationship with your mother or daughter?
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